Food in Mozambique is awesome. Awesome enough it gets special blog attention.

Indian appetizers:

Check out our awesome market lunch that cost like a dollar:

Closer in:

The white stuff is Xima (pronounced SHE-ma), which is Pap. What’s pap? The staple of South Africa–corn meal and water, think like polenta.

The green stuff is some sort of mix of greens and berries of some sort. We were told it was “medicine”. It had an almost alkaline taste, but still was pretty nice.

Polony and egg:

I’ve blogged about Polony before, but it’s Bologna spelled for humans. This reminded me of Taylor Ham and Egg, and made me homesick for food I never want to eat at home.

This was purchased in a Chinese market:

This is, of course, Puta Leisure Food (sadly ruined by the flash). Polyglots will recognize the word “puta”, please discuss in the comments.

It wasn’t very tasty.

Between New Years and the start of the school year, I was lucky enough to make a trip to Mozambique. Samora Machel, leader of the revolution, welcomes you to the capital, Maputo:

Joining me on my adventures is my buddy Marc, who came all the way from his home in Korea to babysit me while we ventured into the real Africa. Here Marc presents us with a 2M, which is better than any beer I’ve had in South Africa:

To balance out the beer:

Maputo is an awesome city. There are parks!

And a market:

And bombed out buildings:

Because we lack judgement, me and Marc went to the numismatics (currency) museum. Look closely at their sample of American currency:

Can you make out what products are across the aisle from each other in this Chinese supermarket?

Before departing Maputo (we would return), we visited a place called Feira Popular. We didn’t ride any rides but we ate dinner. Business was slow on account of the New Years having just past, but Marc was still able to have the full African experience:

For pure self-indulgence, this is me singing band-karaoke “Like a Virgin” at an expat bar. Because this is what you do at expat bars:

Big readers might remember over a year ago when I first posted about screwing.

Truthfully, screwing (spinning) usually takes place in specially built venues. Some enterprising individual realized that the store parking lot was probably not the best place for this, and that there were a lot of people here who would pay to see it. So somebody went and built one at my site. They had their first event in December:

Admission was 50rand, or about 7 dollars. But that’s a pretty big chunk of cash here. So a lot of people were content to just watch from a road bridge that sort of overlooked the venue:

And…the videos:
Check out this genius, who realized that partially malfunctioning nitrous afterburner can be used as a heat source (MOVIE).

Not as awesome, but check out this dude who doesn’t care about the car skidding around him (MOVIE).

And for you screwing megafans, just a normal car spinning in the daytime (MOVIE).

A few photos from my life.

This happened at my school:

Using foam suits to sell stuff to kids is universal. Dance off:

Accidental video game reference:

And the most important thing ever, Soya Mince. Vegan:

What’s going on here? Soya mince is textured soy protien, dried and mixed with spices. You add boiling water and voila, instant cheap protein source. You can find soya mince everywhere, and if you don’t have money it’s practically a staple. This is what the future of meat eating looks like, America.

It’s not very good. Even the peperoni flavor. I find peperoni flavor especially amusing because peperoni only exists in major pizza chains here. I’ve never seen it in a supermarket–I’m sure it exists, but it is a lot more difficult to find than peperoni flavored soya mince. The overlap of people who eat soya mince and people who seek out peperoni is a very small set. I might be the only person. I’m awesome.

The final stop in Kenya before I left was Mombasa, Kenya’s second city. It’s a very different scene than Nairobi. It’s coastal, very Islamic, and you can feel the influence of the various cultures and occupiers that have passed through.

Because our time in Mombasa was short, we went with a whirlwind day tour.

These metal tusks were erected to commemorate the visit of some crusty British royalty. Now they’re famous or something:

Because Mombasa is basically an island, ferries are necessary:

Tourist trappers:

Our tour guide took us to a spice shop. While it was kind of cheesy and I’m sure they got a cut, it was still pretty amazing. And yeah, the spices were awesome. Guess who scored some saffron at like 1/20 the price it costs in America?

Pimpin’ spice dude:

More of the market…want some french fries?

I didn’t know bananas grew upwards until I lived in Africa:

While this might appear funny, this sort of thing is dead serious in Africa.

Unfortunately, we failed our own personal pledge against diarrhea:

Our next stop was a large wood carving cooperative:

Check out the NGO produced information cards tacked up around the workshops:

Riding in minivans is awesome:

Next was the old port area:

Checking out the wildlife:

And lastly, Fort Jesus, an old and ultimately failed Portuguese attempt to control the Port of Mombasa. Check out the doors:

What’s with the brutal spikes? A popular technique for door-destroying was to use charging elephants. The spikes made that technique less than effective. This made Mia cry…why would they do something so mean to elephants?

Inside the fort:

Weaponry:

Testing our strength:

Right before the Portuguese lost the fort, the survivors dug a tunnel to the shore. A few actually managed to escape:

Creepy Portuguese graffiti:

Before the end of the day, we visited a special sort of zoo. I hate monkeys, but I think hippos hate them even more:

How’s this for a build-up? :

No joke:

Dude (lady?) totally loved the neckrub:

When you’re over 100 years old, I guess you learn to appreciate the simpler things.

After our adventures around Kenya, we returned to Nairobi for a very packed day.

We started with a visit to a craft market in Nairobi. It was out of the way and we attracted A LOT of attention. Thankfully, we had Julius taking care of us:

Weaving:

Making Beadwork:

After the market, we went to visit Joe’s sister Mary, who proceeded to spend the whole day cooking some of the most amazing things I’ve ever eaten:

In the middle of the day, me, Joe, and Louise went to the outer ring of Nairobi to visit the house Joe stayed in when we lived here way back when. Joe was the only person with his own room, per AFS standards. But his “room” was really just the pantry curtained off. You can see it in this picture. I’m in the kitchen, and uncle Jack is in the pantry:

For transport to and from the outer ring we used matatus:

For those keeping score at home, less people are allowed on matatus in Nairobi than in South Africa. Yes, Kenyan matatus are more comfortable than South African taxis…

Me and Joe with brother Abram (spelling might be wrong, sorry!). Check out his sweet shirt:

Mary’s cooking marathon continued into the evening:

This is Joe, Laurie, and me with Mary’s son Ben. Note Ben’s excellent taste in collegiate t-shirts:

Mary, Mia, and Cake:

Not really the last chance, but the last chance to support my running of the Longtom Marathon this upcoming Saturday.

I’m running a half marathon to raise money for the KLM Foundation. The KLM Foundation provides children from economically disadvantaged (rural) communities scholarships to attend private school. Their focus is on finding and educating the future leaders of South Africa.

Donations make me happy, and will result in a personalized piece of mail to you, dear donor, that you will be able to sell when I’m famous. Famous for raising money, obviously. Oh, and for being awesome. This probably isn’t as good as my last post asking for donations, so read that if you haven’t.

I’m in the running to be one of the top fundraisers. Don’t you want to help me win…a hoodie?

Donating is easy:

1) Go to the KLM Foundation Website and click the Donate button in the top right corner. (Or just follow this direct link)

2) Fill out the form. You can donate (much) less than $100 if you want. 5$ is fantastic.

3) In the Longtom Marathon box (“If you are making this donation in support of a participant in the Longtom Marathon, please indicate the runner’s name”) put my name, Michael Sherman .

You can also donate by check. Ask me for help or read the instructions on the Donate page.

Please let me know if you have problems or questions, or have a peek at the KLM website.

Yay!

Lake Bogoria!

Lake Bogoria is primarily famous for two things. Pink Flamingos!

With requisite feathering:

And geological activity:

The steam is the result of underground volcanic activity, one of the side effects of the separating tectonic plates that create the Great Rift Valley.

Mia loves it, completely ignoring the cut-off danger sign:

The school kids love it too:

If you’re feeling hungry, just boil an egg in the lake:

Bonus termite mound:

After visiting the family farm, and one of Joe’s brothers, Fred, on his farm, we headed towards Lake Bogoria. This required an overnight in Elbasan, where I got awesome food poisoning. Travel!

Elbasan is in the mountains, and is near this place where they train marathoners

And then, a view of the Great Rift Valley:

Dudes chilling:

Shopping:

We passed through the town of Kabarnet, which is famous for having a lot of government…

And a lake in the distance…

After a long day on the road, we arrived at the farm of my Uncle Joe’s Kenyan family. We were fed extremely well:

Then we promptly passed out from exhaustion and deliciousness.

The next morning, with mama and her sister:

Peeling roots:

The house:

In the middle is Uncle Julius, one of Joe’s Kenyan brothers. This house is where we stayed, and is where Julius and his wife, Benji, plan to retire to.

Julius took us on a walk around the village:

We got to meet the chief:

Where we scoped cool posters:

We also visited a school. Check it:

Outside the school we tried sugar cane:

Water:

Food:

The family farm is right near the equator, where this space age monument marks the ultimate tourist victory:

This guy’s farm is on the equator. He probably doesn’t care:

Far in the distance is lake Victoria:

Sadly, that’s as close as we got.

Did you know Barack Obama is Kenyan?

In a nearby town: